Hey everyone.
So, it's been a bit since I last wrote here... I actually didn't write during April at all. I think it's because I was so happy. Well... I still am, LoL... but I figured I could always use some writing. This blog is here to help me with my mind, after all, and everything is always a work in process. I'm a work in process.
I just figured I'd write whenever something of major importance comes around. I also want this blog to be an activism blog. Right now it's more about my own personal life than anything... heh. One has to start somewhere, right? I need to take the time to read more activists' blogs to get the bigger picture of what one should be like.
Now, without much further ado... I'm gonna go ahead and talk about what's happened for the past two months.
Last I wrote here, I was staying at M.'s place. I went straight there when I came back to Orlando the first of March, and the deal was that I could rent out his extra room and stay. All was well and fine, but the office found out I was there, and that I had a dog, so they gave us three days to either pay the pet deposit fee and add me to the lease, or GTFO. And of course I didn't have 300 dollars to pull out of my @$$ in three days for the fee, nor could I even be added to the lease, because they required a social and did a background check - which would reveal my undocumented status. So, it was something that hit me like a truck in full speed - all of a sudden I had three days to find a place to go to, and I was soooo screwed. This was one of those times in life that makes me believe I'm truly being watched and cared for by some unseen force from above. Just a few days before the incident, a friend of mines commented that one of his roommates had gotten a job in Cali and would be staying the next three months there, and was looking for someone to rent his room to, for that time being. I called him as soon as I heard I needed to get out, and within three days I was "moved out" of M.'s place (not that I had much anyways... one lugagge bag and my dog's things, haha). So... it's a house... a nice big one, and I got one of the rooms upstairs, and I wasn't required to pay a pet deposit fee or anything. They have a nice big yard so I was happy about that, cuz Shiloh loves it. And I got a water bed too, haha. It truly fell from heavens, this whole thing. They only asked me for $150 for rent, plus whatever for the utilities. Which is reeeeeally good in the Orlando area. So, I moved in right in the beginning of April, and I love it here sooooo much. For the whole month, I've been feeling so happy and blessed. Just having such a nice place to stay at, it's actually more than I've had most my life... and for the time being, I have everything I need. Enough money for rent, utilities, groceries, Shiloh's needs, and my Capoeira. I graduated, by the way! I passed my test and got my next cord (belt). It was amazing. A great weekend.
But yeah. So, in the beginning of April, I went to a SWER (Students Working for Equal Rights) retreat that I had been invited to, and they cordially asked me to be the leader of an Orlando chapter. Which is really quite an honor! But also a lot of hard work to do. Of course I said yes, because I know they worry about this area. I spent the weekend at Walter Lara's house with the rest of the chapter leaders of SWER from all over Florida, and I got to meet some really amazing people. We did a LOT of planning for many many things to come, and I even got to meet the four walkers from the Trail of Dreams through webcam! I was so thrilled, I couldn't believe it. Which brings me to May 1st, which is when they arrived in D.C. from their 1,500 some miles walk from Miami. Many people from SWER went, and I was supposed to go and join them in the rally and civil disobedience that day in D.C., but I got sick and I had no one to take care of my dog for the whole weekend. I was super sad I couldn't go, but I guess it was for the best. Rep. Luis Gutierrez was arrested in the name of the movement, and I can say his act certainly moved me. It's simply incredible to see someone from government fighting so hard for something he believes so much in. If I ever see that man in front of me, I will kiss him. LoL.
After that, not much else has been going on. I've settled down pretty nicely and I'm still enjoying myself as much as I can. Because God knows how long this peace will last. It's something I really don't wanna lose, but for a while, this dark thought has been looming in the back of my head. What do I do to keep this happiness? What do I do to be able to keep fighting for what I believe in? And what's the next step?
I don't wanna be a pessimist. But I think it might be dangerous for me to live in this peaceful bliss without worrying at least a little bit. I've been thinking a lot lately about my place. Where I'm at right now...
David (the guy who left for Cali) is supposedly coming back by the end of June. If he does (which I was told it's very likely), I will find myself without a place in about a month and a half. And that worries me. I don't think I can afford a rent any higher than $300 (if that, I'm being generous), and it's not like I can go out and rent my own place, anyways. Since they always require papers around this area. I've told my roommates I really really REALLY wanna be able to stay here after they re-sign the lease (which is in August), but I don't know how that would go. If David decides he wants to stay in Cali for three more months, that would actually help me out quite a bit. I could at least stay here until August. And then, after that, we still don't know who'd be leaving by then. My roommate downstairs just graduated from UCF and he needs to find a job. He said it'll be improbable for him to find one in this area, so I'm thinking chances are that he'll have to move. If he does, I could rent his room and stay here. My second roommate said he'll stay for another year if more people decide to stay here. As for the third one, and David, I still have no idea. But on the other day I was told that I'd need to sign the lease if I wanted to stay here after August... which is BUUUUUULLSHIIIIIT, and makes me so angry... more worried than angry, but still angry... at the situation, of course... cuz we all know I can't sign a damned lease... they check... plus, they also require proof of income, and there's no way I can give them that, when I can't even get a job legally. So... I'm starting to got really worried about this. I don't know what I'm gonna do. ~sigh~
I've been having some serious thoughts about certain "taboo" subjects, but because of their nature, I don't think it's quite smart to talk about them in a public blog, so for now I'll keep those to myself. It's a shame, cuz I really wish I could write anything I wanted down here, but I'm thinking about the future and it looks like it's things best left alone.
For now, this is all I'm gonna report, because nothing else has really happened, but I just wanted to keep this blog going, you know.
In another note, I finally had the courage to make it completely public. I shared it with all of my friends and some acquaintances, plus I shared it on Facebook. It doesn't look like very many people checked it out, but I'm fine with that. Even though I had the courage to do this, I still can't help but to worry about who's reading all of this. I hope I'll overcome this soon.
On a last note, I wanted to thank everyone and anyone who takes the time to read my posts. Thank you, you guys! Even those of you who don't comment (because that's not really all that important anyways), it really means somethig to me to know that you guys care. <3
Well, I'll just write again whenever I have something more to say.
Ta ta, have a good rest of your weekend!
Hills and Valley..Belle. Hills and Valleys.. S
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